The Dos and Don’t’s Of Marriage 8

1Corinthians14verse40 ‘Let all things be done decently and in order’.

I believe you are blessed by these series of lessons on the acceptable marriage engagement rules. God expects you to conduct and comport yourself in a certain way in your marriage if you will really experience the promise of his bliss and fulfilment. This is why I have been sharing with you some of the ways we ought to behave in our marriage and so far, we have covered some interesting stuff in this series. However, today, we will take another step further by looking at some other dimensions of how you ought to behave yourself. So let’s take a critical look at another principle today.

24. Never abuse your partner emotionally. Emotional abuse is not acceptable in marriage. So stop abusing your partner emotionally. So what is emotional abuse?

. It’s a form of domestic and family violence. An emotional abuser’s goal is to undermine another person’s feelings of self-worth and independence.

It’s a way of controlling another person by using emotions to criticize, embarrass, shame, blame or otherwise manipulate another person. Emotional abuse is also known as psychological abuse.Instead of manipulating your spouse’s emotions, you should rather protect and develop their emotions. Gen30v1-8

Emotional abuse can occur in so many ways in a marriage and I like to share some of the ways it can occur:

1. Verbal abuse, i.e., yelling or insulting your spouse.

2. Rejection, i.e. constantly rejecting the thoughts, ideas, or opinions of your partner

3. Gaslighting, i.e., making your partner doubt their own feelings, thoughts and sanity.

4. Social abuse, i.e., seeking to harm the other relationships in the life of your partner or even harming their reputation. This can also happen by sharing photos of your partner without their permission and monitoring their activities (both in-person and online).

5. Putting them down, i.e., calling them names, or telling them they are stupid publicly or embarrassing or blaming them for everything.

6. Causing them to fear, i.e., making them feel afraid, intimidated or threatened.

7. Isolation, i.e., this occurs by limiting their freedom of movement or stopping them from seeing their people (i.e., friends and family). This can also include stopping them from doing the things they normally do or enjoy doing.

8. Financial abuse, i.e., this is controlling or withholding your spouse’s money or preventing them from working or schooling or even stealing from them.

9. Bullying and intimidation, i.e., This is purposely or repeatedly saying or doing things that are intended to hurt your spouse.

10. Withholding affection and attention from your partner

These are just some of the ways emotional abuse takes place in a marriage situation but these kinds of abuse can be avoided and subdued with the right kind of counsel and wisdom. My candid advice to anyone who wants to enjoy marriage bliss is to do away with every form of emotional abuse. If you are already engrossed in these, cry out for help and counseling from trusted and tested counselors. May today usher you into a new season of change in your marital life.

Other Scriptural References: Gen30v9-16: Jam3v16: Col3v19: Eph4v31-32: Jud16v15-19

Prayer for Today; Lord, I say no to every form of emotional abuse in my home in Jesus name, amen.

CONFESSION: Lord, give me wisdom and courage in managing my emotions and that of my spouse. I receive healing and restoration in any area of my emotions that I might have been hurt or wounded. I receive grace to be emotional stable and intelligent in Jesus name, amen.