Amos 3v3: Can two walk together, unless they are agreed?

It’s possible to be able to identify when someone is healthy and unhealthy. In the same vein, it’s possible to be able to know when things are not going well in a marital relationship. There are usually certain red flags that pop up and they are symptomatic of things not going on well. So what can you say about your relationship with your spouse? This series of lessons is designed to help you know whether things are okay or not and, more importantly, do something about the issues at hand. I pray that you will find healing and restoration through these truths in Jesus name, amen. From our last lesson, I shared some of the indicators of an Unhealthy Marriage with you. Today by his Grace, I will be shedding more light in this regard. So without much ado, let’s go!

SIGNS OF AN UNHEALTHY MARRIAGE:

9. You are having an affair or have an affair on your mind. Infidelity poses a great danger to any home and it’s a sign that things are not okay in that Marriage. Anyone who cheats on his or her spouse is definitely not helping matters. And in fact, crushing on someone else or having an emotional affair apart from your spouse is not right. It’s an invitation to a disaster that needs to be avoided at all costs. If by any chance, you find yourself in this scenario, you need to get help as fast as possible because the life of your marriage is at stake (Pro.6v26, 32). May you truly find succour and healing in Jesus name, amen.

10. You have started keeping secrets. Keeping secrets from your partner is a sign that things are not all right in your home. A couple is supposed to be open and transparent with each other, so when hiding or concealing things comes in, it’s a sign that things are not okay. So what are you keeping from your spouse? Why are you hiding your password from your partner? These are important questions that you need to provide answers to if you really want to work in your marriage (Gen.2v25).

11. You are always criticising one another. This does not mean that you cannot honestly criticise your spouse, but it should be done in love. But on the contrary, if all you ever do is to always find something wrong with your spouse or what they do, it’s an indication that all is not well with your Marriage. This is something that you really need to fix and sort out as fast as possible. Even with the weaknesses that your spouse has, there are still a lot of good things about them. It’s your job to find it out and also focus on it. This will be a great relief and help to your Marriage (Philem.1v6).

12. Your unwillingness to apologize to your spouse. This is also not a good sign in any Marriage. If you find it difficult to apologize to your partner, it means that something is wrong in your relationship. In fact, the ability to apologize to your spouse is a sign of maturity and understanding in any home. So it’s time to grow up. I have also observed that closely related to this point is also the attitude of not being ready to take corrections. Anyone who can’t apologize will also find it difficult to make corrections. This is a warning sign in any relationship that needs to be addressed at all costs. My dear reader, it’s time to put the enemy where he really belongs. It’s time to outgrow certain behaviours so that you be stronger in your Marriage (Pro.29v1).

I pray that you will truly experience peace and healing in your home as you yield to the workings of God in your heart. May your home find succour and God’s Mercies in Jesus name, amen.

Other Scriptural References: (Job 31v1; Matt.5v28: Mal.2v14-16; Pro.14v1: 28v20; Eph.4v15; Pro.31v10, 28-29).

Prayer for Today: Holy Spirit of God, let your wind blow afresh in my home in Jesus name, amen.

CONFESSION: Lord, I am willing to work on my Marriage. I am ready to work at my home. I repent in sackcloth’s and ashes concerning my behaviour and attitude towards my spouse. I put on a new attitude. I say goodbye to every ungodly conduct. As I cooperate with your word and the Holy Spirit, I will sing a new song in my home in Jesus name, amen.

Pastor Yemi Adeoti

Yemi Adeoti is a pastor, teacher, life coach and mentor & also a prolific writer.