Col.3v12-15: Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering, bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do. But above all these things put on love, which is the bond of perfection. And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to which also you were called in one body; and be thankful.
I trust that you are being blessed by this series of messages on the subject of resolving marital conflicts. As you can see from what we have shared so far that it’s possible to resolve whatsoever kind of dispute or argument that you may have with your loved ones once you are willing to work with the right attitude. This is part of what the passage in Colossians 3 verse 12-15, talks about. You must be willing to embrace new and better attitudes in order to walk in peace and harmony in your Marriage. From our last lesson, I started sharing with you some of the adjustments you need to make in order to become a better Conflict manager. Today by his Grace, I will go a step further in continuing with how you ought to go about Resolving your Conflicts. I believe you are ready for this, so here we go!
WAYS OF RESOLVING MARITAL CONFLICTS:
4. Limit or Avoid External Interference as much as possible. This is one of the most important counsel you can ever get with solving your marital issues. To resolve your conflicts very well, you need to limit the number of people or kinds of people you can get involved with within your marriage. Too many cooks spoil the Soup. If you need to involve anyone in any way, let it be someone you really trust, such as your Man or Woman of God or a Trusted Mentor. Ideally, there should not be any kind of conflict that you should not be able to resolve with your spouse, but in case you can’t resolve things amicably, there is nothing wrong with reaching out to a Trusted Counsellor (Eccle.4v9). You just need to make sure you don’t get the wrong kind of people involved in your matter so that you can maintain peace and harmony in your home. I sincerely believe that you understand what I mean by this. The Lord will give you further illumination in Jesus name, amen.
5. Be willing to go for counselling or help. At times, this might just be what you and your spouse need in order to resolve that conflict. So don’t die in isolation, ignorance or pride. Come out clean. Be humble enough to ask for help when you need it. This will greatly help your Marriage in the long run. Be willing to cry out for help (Ps.34v6). Help is always available to those who seek it. So don’t be afraid of getting it today. In fact, at times, you might even need professional or spiritual Counselling in dealing with your issues as a spouse. Be willing to go for it because it might just be the lifesaver for your Marriage (Pro.11v14: 24v6).
6. Be open and sincere with each other. Stop trying to hide or conceal anything from your spouse. Honesty is still the best policy. My dear reader, to successfully resolve your conflicts, you must be truthful with each other as there can be no meaningful resolution without sincerity and openness. So make sure that you are real and genuine with your intentions. This will greatly help you in resolving conflicts in your home (Pro.12v17).
7. Be willing to Forgive and Forget. You must be quick in forgiving and also letting go of issues between you and your spouse. This is an essential component in resolving your conflicts amicably. So you need to stop holding to the past. Stop holding to grudges. Let bygones be bygones. Stop revisiting the Past. Let it go. Let sleeping dogs lie. If you have a problem with letting things go, you need to ask God for help in this area. My dear brothers and sisters, choose forgiveness over Bitterness, Bickering and Malice. At times, not being willing to forgive one another and not letting go is often the reason for the lack of peace and harmony in many homes. But in the name of Jesus Christ, I see God turning things around for good. So make up your mind to cooperate with God and your spouse. I see peace returning to your home from today (Eph.4v31-32).
Other Scriptural References: (Isa.43v18-19; Pro.12v19, 22; Col.3v9; 1Cor.10v13; Pro.27v17).
Prayer for Today: Heavenly Father, I embrace peace over trouble. I choose to be a peacemaker in my home in Jesus name, amen.
CONFESSION: I choose to be a Doer of the word and not a header of it. I swallow up my pride and stubbornness. I choose the ways of the Lord. As I walk with these instructions, my Marriage is receiving God’s visitation. Things are changing for the better in my home. Hallelujah, it’s a new dawn for me!
Yemi Adeoti is a pastor, teacher, life coach and mentor & also a prolific writer.
I choose to be a Doer of the word and not a header of it. I swallow up my pride and stubbornness. I choose the ways of the Lord. As I walk with these instructions, my Marriage is receiving God’s visitation.
thank you sir