Proverbs 21verse9 ‘It is better to dwell in a corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman in a wide house.’
I trust that you are enjoying this series of teachings on how to resolve the areas of contentions in our marriages. I know there are bound to be areas of differences and conflicts in any meaningful relationship, but how you resolve them matters! I strongly believe that you are gaining wisdom and insight on how to handle the contentious areas in your marriage. This is very important because how you handle it will determine whether you will have peace or not in your home. So, back to our earlier discussion: how can you resolve the contentious areas in marriage? You can do this successfully by avoiding the following kinds of behaviour:
6. Avoid being judgemental or critical of your partner. This is an important attitude that you need to put on if you want to resolve issues amicably with your partner. Never ever assume the role of a Judge or a critic in settling issues between you and your spouse. Instead of this, you need to be merciful and forgiving in nature. Matt5v7
7. Avoid playing the conflict avoidance game. Playing this kind of game will not by any means keep you from conflicts because conflicts are bound to happen. Lk17v1.
8. Avoid stonewalling your partner. Stonewalling is when someone completely shuts down in a conversation or refuses to interact with another person. My dear friend, avoid treating your partner this way, as this will not help you or your relationship by any means. Eph4v15.
9. Avoid being mean or cruel to your partner. No matter the argument or dispute, under no circumstances should you be mean to your spouse because this kind of behaviour does not help matters at all. So avoid it by every possible means. Rom12v17
10. Avoid being unreasonable or overbearing towards your spouse. Always endeavour to be considerate and reasonable in your interactions with your spouse. Put yourself in their shoes. Identifying with them like this helps resolve areas of contentions in your marriage in the long run.
11. Avoid being domineering or manipulative of your partner. Trying to control or lord things over your spouse won’t fly, so give no room for such kind of relationship in your life.
12. Avoid belittling, despising or looking down on your spouse. You must always treat your spouse with ultimate respect and honour. Rom12v10.
My dear brothers and sisters I believe that you can now. See the things we need to do away with regard to our attitude if we want to achieve peace and harmony in our homes. Anyone who engages in this type of behaviour or attitude will find it difficult to resolve conflicts.
Other Scriptural References: Pro16v18; 1Cor16v13; 2Cor8v21; Pro4v5, 7.
Prayer for Today: In the name of Jesus Christ, I stand against everything that’s trying to tear my marriage apart in Jesus name, amen.
CONFESSION: Lord help me be a doer of these truths I have received via this series of teachings in Jesus name. Lord, I also receive the courage to make amends in these areas. So help me, precious Holy Spirit!
Yemi Adeoti is a pastor, teacher, life coach and mentor & also a prolific writer.
Amen